Do I have the courage to fail?

One of my favorite professors in college said that when we are faced with something, we should ask ourselves, “what is the worst that can happen?” and then follow that logic to the worst place it might go to help us decide if the “risk” is still worth it. I have thought about that a lot over the years, because often the risk is truly not worth the potential gain. However, recently I’ve realized that more often I now ask myself, “Do I have the courage to fail?”

I feel like sometimes I’m paralyzed because of the answers I do not know, or perhaps by the simple but very profound fear of failure. Sometimes it is displayed in the inability to do what is right, or to take action when it is necessary, or to respond when I can just avoid what seems impossible.

I think it is often preferable to keep my thoughts, perspective and opinions to myself especially if they are unlikely to be constructive or life-giving to another. There is some strength in knowing when to hold my thoughts in silence (and perhaps a little further internal consideration). But silence can be cowardice, too. Sometimes we need to say that hard things, we need to speak truth even if we don’t know how it will be received, we need to defend the defenseless, we need to be (humbly) honest to bring about the greater good, and sometimes we need to walk forward even in the face of potential failure.

As Lochlan’s mom, I have been forced to do things, to be a person I am not naturally wired to be, I have fought in battles I didn’t choose and never would have chosen, and I have faced my own shortcomings and failures time and time again. I have had to fight against unjust laws, appeal to people in positions of power, I have had to complete mountains of paperwork that makes little to no sense, and I have been required to advocate for a person who has yet to find his own voice. Silence is not an option.

So, as I guide my boys through the life we share in this season, I will ask them, “do you have the courage to fail?” Will you venture and persevere and face difficulty even though it might be humbling, terrifying, uncomfortable?

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~ John Wayne.

So, in friendships, in marriage, in motherhood, in the simple stuff of life, I pray that I will always have the strength to be courageous, the wisdom to lead with kindness, the faith to persevere even if darkness should attempt to blind me.

May we run and not grow weary…